Love & Happiness

When I'm in his arms, the rest of the world just doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm safe with him. That I'm home.
I wish I could just appear next to him, even for a fraction of a second, just to remember those tiny details that father time takes away. Like the way he concentrates at the piano, or the way he stares from afar. The lines under his eyes when he laughs, and that kiss he saves at the corner of his mouth.
I miss so much of everything, that I'm scared that too much time will go by, and I'll just forget. Will it hurt? Or will it just numb itself slowly, day by day, hour by hour?
I know that every time I think of him, the love grows. But it's not some make believe fairytale feeling that doesn't exist- it's as real as anything. It lights you on fire and burns your whole being. It's a good kind of burn though, because it gives you strength to move forward and happily wait for another day, another oppurtunity to feel happy and brave. It's what people wait for their whole lives, and when it comes along they're so overwhelmed that the feeling can't be diognosed or recognised. It just sweeps you off your feet and carries you to a great height, a height so great that you might make a wrong turn and tumble down at the speed of light, into a burning hell. Thats the risk you take when it comes to love. You give someone your heart, praying that the other will care for it as they would their own. You pray that at some point you can get it back in one piece, with as little bumps and bruises as possible.
You have expectations about happiness, and how it'll just land on your shoulder, like a gentle butterfly thats come to rest it's wings. Like a quiet wind that rolls around on a lazy summer afternoon.
No one said it was like that though.
Happiness comes with a bang and a shock, after roads and highways of hell, after your worst nightmares. It comes as a surprise, when you least expect it, it comes, as a gift.
If happiness finds you, then it's relatively safe to say that you've done your job in this world. You've been a good enough person, and given your heart up for long enough. You've earned it.
I just wish it were that easy.

-30/06/2010