I seem to be tempting fate.
Just tempting fate every moment of every day.
All these musings, all these forms of song and understanding, are just making the future more real.
Or making the past seem further away than it really is.
These no name songs are bringing changes to reality.
Shape shifting and discouraging our thoughts and hearts.
Making us believe in something that it's not.
Oh song,
Oh my love.
My savior- my bliss and hero.
The one to pick me up off these cold grounds.
The one to stop these shards of glass from piercing my very soul.
The one to stop this buzzing in my brain.
Oh music,
My lover,
Bringing me out of the darkness, and helping me see.
Helping me observe what true love is.
Oh love,
My drug,
So dangerous, yet I crave it perpetually.
My sick obsession that I must once again obtain.
To numb reality and make me soar through the skies.
Oh bliss,
I shall never possess it.
Nor shall my withered heart,
Or battered soul.
Friday, October 8, 2010
First Rain Feel
The clouds here are the thick with rain just waiting to come pouring down, and theres a sort of magic in the air that everyone seems to feel. Like somehow everythings going to be okay, as soon as the gentle autumn breeze touches our eyelids and lips. It's that first rain feeling, where you just know that nothing, nothing can ruin your happiness.
Are We Broken?
All of a sudden it hurts.
All of a sudden, all I can do is think of darkness and consequences. All I can muster in my mind are the "what if's".
All of a sudden, I'm falling apart, burning up from the inside. Wishing that it'd just go away already. Wishing it would stop hurting.
I want it to be easy- but it never will. It's always going to hurt me too much, it's always going to sting. I'll just go home each day and pour salt on my wounds, my empty, bleeding wounds.
It's like the worlds in which we live in are drifting even further apart, and I can't see you clearly anymore. I just look at memories, and wonder if you're the same as then. There are those moments that everything is okay, and perfect, and absolutely amazing...then there are the moments that all that is dear about you to me, breaks, shatters, falls to the floor.
I can't find the pieces like I once could.
I don't know what to do, and I get lost, and forget the good things- I just hold myself together and try to find my way- but I can't.
Because I am broken
Are we breaking?
Is this the best I can hope for?
How much longer will "I love you" be our parting phrase?
Will it mean just that?
Are we broken?
All of a sudden, all I can do is think of darkness and consequences. All I can muster in my mind are the "what if's".
All of a sudden, I'm falling apart, burning up from the inside. Wishing that it'd just go away already. Wishing it would stop hurting.
I want it to be easy- but it never will. It's always going to hurt me too much, it's always going to sting. I'll just go home each day and pour salt on my wounds, my empty, bleeding wounds.
It's like the worlds in which we live in are drifting even further apart, and I can't see you clearly anymore. I just look at memories, and wonder if you're the same as then. There are those moments that everything is okay, and perfect, and absolutely amazing...then there are the moments that all that is dear about you to me, breaks, shatters, falls to the floor.
I can't find the pieces like I once could.
I don't know what to do, and I get lost, and forget the good things- I just hold myself together and try to find my way- but I can't.
Because I am broken
Are we breaking?
Is this the best I can hope for?
How much longer will "I love you" be our parting phrase?
Will it mean just that?
Are we broken?
Love & Happiness
When I'm in his arms, the rest of the world just doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm safe with him. That I'm home.
I wish I could just appear next to him, even for a fraction of a second, just to remember those tiny details that father time takes away. Like the way he concentrates at the piano, or the way he stares from afar. The lines under his eyes when he laughs, and that kiss he saves at the corner of his mouth.
I miss so much of everything, that I'm scared that too much time will go by, and I'll just forget. Will it hurt? Or will it just numb itself slowly, day by day, hour by hour?
I know that every time I think of him, the love grows. But it's not some make believe fairytale feeling that doesn't exist- it's as real as anything. It lights you on fire and burns your whole being. It's a good kind of burn though, because it gives you strength to move forward and happily wait for another day, another oppurtunity to feel happy and brave. It's what people wait for their whole lives, and when it comes along they're so overwhelmed that the feeling can't be diognosed or recognised. It just sweeps you off your feet and carries you to a great height, a height so great that you might make a wrong turn and tumble down at the speed of light, into a burning hell. Thats the risk you take when it comes to love. You give someone your heart, praying that the other will care for it as they would their own. You pray that at some point you can get it back in one piece, with as little bumps and bruises as possible.
You have expectations about happiness, and how it'll just land on your shoulder, like a gentle butterfly thats come to rest it's wings. Like a quiet wind that rolls around on a lazy summer afternoon.
No one said it was like that though.
Happiness comes with a bang and a shock, after roads and highways of hell, after your worst nightmares. It comes as a surprise, when you least expect it, it comes, as a gift.
If happiness finds you, then it's relatively safe to say that you've done your job in this world. You've been a good enough person, and given your heart up for long enough. You've earned it.
I just wish it were that easy.
-30/06/2010
I wish I could just appear next to him, even for a fraction of a second, just to remember those tiny details that father time takes away. Like the way he concentrates at the piano, or the way he stares from afar. The lines under his eyes when he laughs, and that kiss he saves at the corner of his mouth.
I miss so much of everything, that I'm scared that too much time will go by, and I'll just forget. Will it hurt? Or will it just numb itself slowly, day by day, hour by hour?
I know that every time I think of him, the love grows. But it's not some make believe fairytale feeling that doesn't exist- it's as real as anything. It lights you on fire and burns your whole being. It's a good kind of burn though, because it gives you strength to move forward and happily wait for another day, another oppurtunity to feel happy and brave. It's what people wait for their whole lives, and when it comes along they're so overwhelmed that the feeling can't be diognosed or recognised. It just sweeps you off your feet and carries you to a great height, a height so great that you might make a wrong turn and tumble down at the speed of light, into a burning hell. Thats the risk you take when it comes to love. You give someone your heart, praying that the other will care for it as they would their own. You pray that at some point you can get it back in one piece, with as little bumps and bruises as possible.
You have expectations about happiness, and how it'll just land on your shoulder, like a gentle butterfly thats come to rest it's wings. Like a quiet wind that rolls around on a lazy summer afternoon.
No one said it was like that though.
Happiness comes with a bang and a shock, after roads and highways of hell, after your worst nightmares. It comes as a surprise, when you least expect it, it comes, as a gift.
If happiness finds you, then it's relatively safe to say that you've done your job in this world. You've been a good enough person, and given your heart up for long enough. You've earned it.
I just wish it were that easy.
-30/06/2010
Love Songs
She listens to love songs,
But doesn't believe in love,
She couldn't be bothered,
To love anyone.
She dreams of knights in shining armor,
To sweep her off her feet,
But that won't ever happens
If she gives up on these dreams.
These dreams.
But doesn't believe in love,
She couldn't be bothered,
To love anyone.
She dreams of knights in shining armor,
To sweep her off her feet,
But that won't ever happens
If she gives up on these dreams.
These dreams.
A Proccess
Everything happens for a reason. That I know.
That I believe in.
Things build themselves up, a proccess really,
They build themselves up, then tear themselves down.
Through nothing but tears we realise what reality is,
For the better, and for the worse.
Nothing makes sense, when it comes to love,
But you know for sure that when you look up at the sky,
The darkness,
You will see stars, no matter what the weather.
The stars will be in your eyes,
They will shine,
And you will just know,
That love has come to save you.
Love is all it takes to save you.
Lie down.
Look up.
Watch the butterflies frolicking in the breeze,
See the sweet poppies, their petals barely touching,
Hear the hummingbirds song in the trees.
Listen to the wind, whispering words of truth,
Shouting,
Screaming,
Screaming at you to love.
Love!
Let there only be love.
You will see, that it will somehow find you.
You might walk, on an empty street,
And it will come to you.
You will realise that it was there all along,
But you had never embraced it.
Embrace it!
Love!
Follow the winds, listen to the words,
Follow your heart and and find your soul,
Don't leave them there in the dark.
For without love, there is only darkness,
Only misery,
Only pain.
Love is light,
And creates warmth,
And is sometimes completely unrecognisable.
Love numbs your whole being,
And sweeps you off your feet.
Oh! you cry,
Where have you gone?
A black hole, accumulating time and space and nothing more?
Somewhere blinding, dangerously beautiful?
Painful almost.
Love is,
Painfully beautiful.
We crave it,
We must have it,
We must use it always,
We must let it define us.
Our souls,
Our hearts,
Are as one!
Love between us two, is as one.
That I believe in.
Things build themselves up, a proccess really,
They build themselves up, then tear themselves down.
Through nothing but tears we realise what reality is,
For the better, and for the worse.
Nothing makes sense, when it comes to love,
But you know for sure that when you look up at the sky,
The darkness,
You will see stars, no matter what the weather.
The stars will be in your eyes,
They will shine,
And you will just know,
That love has come to save you.
Love is all it takes to save you.
Lie down.
Look up.
Watch the butterflies frolicking in the breeze,
See the sweet poppies, their petals barely touching,
Hear the hummingbirds song in the trees.
Listen to the wind, whispering words of truth,
Shouting,
Screaming,
Screaming at you to love.
Love!
Let there only be love.
You will see, that it will somehow find you.
You might walk, on an empty street,
And it will come to you.
You will realise that it was there all along,
But you had never embraced it.
Embrace it!
Love!
Follow the winds, listen to the words,
Follow your heart and and find your soul,
Don't leave them there in the dark.
For without love, there is only darkness,
Only misery,
Only pain.
Love is light,
And creates warmth,
And is sometimes completely unrecognisable.
Love numbs your whole being,
And sweeps you off your feet.
Oh! you cry,
Where have you gone?
A black hole, accumulating time and space and nothing more?
Somewhere blinding, dangerously beautiful?
Painful almost.
Love is,
Painfully beautiful.
We crave it,
We must have it,
We must use it always,
We must let it define us.
Our souls,
Our hearts,
Are as one!
Love between us two, is as one.
Back To The Start
Not sure who's reading this right now. Could be no one, could be everyone.
Either way, I feel that I should keep this going.
Get my thoughts out there.
Sometimes I feel like I just need to write my emotions down. What I tend to do is take emotion and slice it up into the smallest little pieces, and then from there twist them with words. I wrote this poem at 2 in the morning, where I suddenly had this brain storm and had to get them on paper.
In Your World Of Make Believe
In your world of make believe, there is no start, middle and end,
It's all just one story that runs right through your head.
In your world of make believe, the sun is really the moon,
Reflections light the passages through your heart's darkened rooms.
Black is white in shades of gray, as you know your world ends soon,
You close your eyes, you turn away, away from your so called doom.
The consequences aren't quite there, in this reality that’s sickly sweet,
You kneel to drink your poison as it's laid down by your feet.
For love is a flower with many thorns, that can't be picked or touched,
It's admired from afar, or observed from closer up.
It pulls you down like gravity, sucking up all your weight,
It leaves you feeling airy, as if your souls been taken away.
It is neither a blessing nor a curse, it is what you think it is,
It can be your savior, your killer or your bliss.
Just know that it's taken your heart, oh so far away,
For nothing more than safekeeping, you'll get it back someday.
---
It's about love. If you try read through the metaphors and between the lines, then you'll understand what I mean.
x
Either way, I feel that I should keep this going.
Get my thoughts out there.
Sometimes I feel like I just need to write my emotions down. What I tend to do is take emotion and slice it up into the smallest little pieces, and then from there twist them with words. I wrote this poem at 2 in the morning, where I suddenly had this brain storm and had to get them on paper.
In Your World Of Make Believe
In your world of make believe, there is no start, middle and end,
It's all just one story that runs right through your head.
In your world of make believe, the sun is really the moon,
Reflections light the passages through your heart's darkened rooms.
Black is white in shades of gray, as you know your world ends soon,
You close your eyes, you turn away, away from your so called doom.
The consequences aren't quite there, in this reality that’s sickly sweet,
You kneel to drink your poison as it's laid down by your feet.
For love is a flower with many thorns, that can't be picked or touched,
It's admired from afar, or observed from closer up.
It pulls you down like gravity, sucking up all your weight,
It leaves you feeling airy, as if your souls been taken away.
It is neither a blessing nor a curse, it is what you think it is,
It can be your savior, your killer or your bliss.
Just know that it's taken your heart, oh so far away,
For nothing more than safekeeping, you'll get it back someday.
---
It's about love. If you try read through the metaphors and between the lines, then you'll understand what I mean.
x
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